Sick and Tired...

Recent turns in my life have been, literally, making me sick. I lie to make you believe that I am ok. Hopefully, I can make myself fall for the same line.

Everytime we speak I am brought to my knees in discomfort. It creates physical hurt in exchange for mental instability.

The depths of my anguish is definitely new to me. I need a break before I break...

I need to breathe before it no longer becomes necessary to do so.

If being driven crazy was a food item, my cart, as well as my stomach, would be full.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elemental that's what you are to me
The original thought that makes me be
The lens from which I see
The air for which I breathe

You are to me like mother is to sis
Like ignorance is to bliss
Like dysfunction is to accomplishment
Like sex is to kiss

The basic cycle that is this life

Not good or bad

Just true
It doesn't have to make sense
It's Elemental

The Nonexistent Honeymoon Is Drawing to a Close

Give me some credit
I'm not half as bad as you think I am
Or more specifically, as my faux predecessors were
I am not them

Seriously, how scarred are you?
It's only been two relationships
And, granted, they were both intense
but damn!

Must I constantly be pushed into your brick walls?

I wasn't even mad at you and then you do that thing you do
And make it sound like we've been arguing for a 1000 nights
I don't even like u like that to fight the way u think we are

You need to really get over yourself!
The broken girl who fell before is not
the woman standing before you
I don't want you on a permanent basis

I love you but I don't like you
You are definitely not girlfriend material

If you stepped off that damn pedestal
You'd see the only one on your tit is you
And not everything I do
Is part of some plot to keep you

My Fix

Kay, this is the last "woe is us" poem for a while. I just needed to get all this empty emotion out so that I can focus on all these new aspects of my life that I have yet to embrace. So...

I don’t know how to live without you
I’m still busy blessing the day I found you
I know I can’t keep you, but I want to
Shit, I’ve been feeling you since high school

Man, it’s going to fucking hurt!
Too bad it just won’t fucking work
Cuz I was seriously considering giving birth
To your kids

Yea, I know
That was plural
As in more than one
But that’s what you do to me

You make me believe that the impossible can possibly be
And the only one keeping me back is me
And the only thing stronger than “I” is “we”

But there's no hope for us

So I plan to live each day as my last

And make room for future, by giving up past

Cuz this whole life is going by fast

And I'm done giving myself time to catch my breath

*Whew*